They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
