I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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