yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
