dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
