i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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