she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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