Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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