I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
