Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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