Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
