She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
