I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
