I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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