dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
