friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
