You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
True strength comes from lack of pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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