I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
