So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
