Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
