if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
