your parents love me but you hate me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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