Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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