They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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