Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
