***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
