I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
