Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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