i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
