There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
