you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
