is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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