So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
