I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
