At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
