I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
