For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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