I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
