I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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