i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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