Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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