Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
