Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
