is your mom at the bar?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
