the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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