I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
