his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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