I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
