They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
