Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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