It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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