Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
