So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
