I hate your face
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
